Feelings with Ashfur
by xxfalling.failingxx
Summary: Everyone's favorite Squirrelflight lover is here and he has his own show! Ashfur decided to become a therapist to help cats with their 'emotional' problems, but finally realized that was too corny and gave it a twist. It's on ClanTV. It's just therapy. But there is a catch; the patients don't know they're being filmed! What could go wrong? Rated T for minor language/violence.
1. An Idea Is Born

**Claimer: I own Silverstorm.**

 **Disclaimer: I do NOT own warriors or 'Getting Over Your Ex by Ashfur'.**

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"Bae!" A familiar gray tom shouted. A pretty tabby head peeked out around the corner.

"Ashykins, you don't have to yell!" she reminded Ashfur.

"Sorry, Silverstorm. I didn't know you were on this floor of the house," Ashfur said with a grin. Ashfur had become a millionaire after successfully publishing his book titled 'Getting Over Your Ex'. He now lives in a six story mansion with a private jet and a maid. Silverstorm waddled into the room, her round belly slowing her down. She sat next to Ashfur on the loves seat. He put a paw on her belly lovingly.

"How many do you think?" he whispered.

"Jayfeather says two." Silverstorm replied.

"That's wonderful!" Ashfur breathed. Silverstorm put a paw over his.

"So, hon," Ashfur began. "I've been thinking about hosting a show..." Silverstorm shot a sideways glance at him. "What kind of show?" she asked.

"One that can help cats with their emotional problems!"

"Isn't that just a little... just in the slightest bit... _corny?_ " Silverstorm's words echoed through Ashfur's mind. His face fell. Silverstorm leaned on Ashfur.

"Oh, Ashykins," she said gently. "I'm sure your show will be a big success. Just like your book was."

"Thanks, bae." Ashfur said and touched his nose to Silverstorm's forehead. She looked up at him.

"You're going to help a lot of cats,"

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 **Sorry about how short it is! I'm just not good with introductions, and I promise the other chapters will be way longer! To make up for this short thing, I'll post another chapter today instead of daily. Hope you like it!**

 _ **\- Rosebark**_


	2. The Show Is Underway!

**Claimer: I own Pierce.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Warriors.**

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Ashfur padded through the glass doors of his new office building. He walked down the long hallway until he found a door that read: 'Therapy Room'. He entered the room and found a sofa, a chair, an office desk, and a huge stack of paperwork just waiting to be filled out. He sat down at the desk and pushed a little red button. The building blew up. Just kidding! You didn't really think Ashfur would be that dumb, did you? On second thought, I can see why you might've actually believed me there. Carry on reading.

"Excuse me, Hollyleaf," he said into the microphone. "Could you come to my office?"

Within a few minutes, Hollyleaf was standing in the doorway.

"Yes, Ashfur?" she asked perkily.

"As my personal secretary, I need you to call the ClanTV folks and tell them I want a show." Ashfur said.

"Yesir." Hollyleaf purred and sashayed away. Five minutes later, the president of ClanTV knocked at the door.

"Come in," Ashfur called. A tall, thin she-cat padded up to his desk.

"Hollyleaf said you wanted a show?" she asked, putting her paws on his desk.

"That is correct. And please, have a seat." Ashfur purred as he motioned to the black office chairs in the corner. The she-cat rolled over a chair and sat down.

"What kind of show are we talking about, now?" she asked.

"I was thinking... 'Feelings with Ashfur' would be great." Ashfur said. The she-cat laughed.

"Doesn't that sound a bit corny?" Ashfur nodded.

"I agree, it does. That's why it's going to be a humor show! Plus, the patient won't even know we're filming!" Ashfur laughed.

"That _is_ a good idea," the she-cat said, rubbing her chin. "When do yo want this show aired?"

"Tomorrow." Ashfur replied. The ClanTV president started laughing again. Ashfur's ears drooped. He narrowed his eyes and bent under his desk, in search for something important. He pulled out a briefcase and popped it open. Inside were one hundred mice, worth about one hundred thousand dollars for us. The she-cat's eyes widened.

"I'll start the preparations shortly." she pulled out a contract and slid it on Ashfur's desk. "Just sign here, here, here, here, here, here, here and here." Ashfur signed in all the needed places. The she-cat got up and started towards the door.

"Pleasure doing business with you, Leopardstar." Ashfur purred. Leopardstar winked at him and walked away. Ashfur pushed the red button on his desk.

"Hollyleaf, to my office please." he said. Hollyleaf entered the room.

"Come sit down," Ashfur offered. The black secretary padded over to the chair and sat down.

"Remember what you said about wanting to be a model?" Ashfur asked. A flicker of excitement passed through Hollyleaf's eyes. She nodded briskly.

"I need advertisement for my therapy sessions, so I was thinking about letting you model for billboards and websites." Ashfur said.

"Oh my Starclan! Yes!" Hollyleaf shouted while jumping out of her chair and clapping.

" Good, good. I was hoping you'd say that because I already called a professional photographer to come and take pictures. He should be here any minute now."

"Bonjour! I am Pierce, zee famous photographer, yes!" said a dark gray tom with black ears and paws.

"Ah, you two must be Oshfur and Hollyleef, yes?" Ashfur nodded.

"That's us. " Hollyleaf purred, batting her unusually long eyelashes.

"Fabulous! Come, come, follow me!" Pierce said, beckoning for Ashfur and Hollyleaf to follow him. Pierce led the two cats outside the building.

"You! Stand here, you stand here," Pierce said adjusting the two cats so they'd look perfect.

"Yes! Yes! Fabulous! Stay still whilst I take zee picture. Von, two, three," With a snap of Pierce's camera, the picture was taken. He ran over to Hollyleaf and Ashfur to show them the picture. They were standing in front of the office building with Hollyleaf putting her elbow on Ashfur's shoulder.

"Good, yes?" Pierce asked. Hollyleaf nodded.

"Ll fait beau!"

"Oh, you speak French?" Pierce asked.

"Oui." Hollyleaf replied.

"Tu es belle, Hollyleef! Puis-je prendre votre photo?"

"He thinks I'm beautiful and wants to take more pictures," Hollyleaf whispered to Ashfur.

"Go ahead." Ashfur said with a nod. Hollyleaf squealed and jumped. Pierce offered her his arm. She gladly took it and they walked away into the city. Ashfur chuckled and walked back inside, grabbed his things, and headed home.

"Tomorrow will be another great day."

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 **Okay, the actual episodes starting tomorrow! What did you think of this one? Write in the reviews please!**

 _ **\- Rosebark**_


	3. Berrynose

**HOORAY! It's time for the first patient! I decided to choose Berrynose because he is hilarious! And I got a review! Yaaaaayyyyyy! Ahem. Sorry about that. I get over excited. Hope you like today's actual chapter!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Warriors, but if I did, Squirrelflight and Bramblestar would have had kits by now and Ashfur wouldn't be dead.**

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The phone rang. Hollyleaf picked it up.

"Ashfur's Therapy. Hollyleaf speaking what can I do for you?" Hollyleaf was sitting at her desk in Ashfur's office. "You'd like to schedule an appointment? Sure!" She balanced the phone on her shoulder and clicked her green pen. "Your name please... Poppyfrost? Oh, you're setting up an appointment for your mate? No problem! Berrynose, right? Mmmmhmmm. That's perfectly fine. What time works? We'll, we have anytime today. Alright! We'll see Berrynose at eleven thirty. Have a nice day!" Hollyleaf hung up the phone. "Whew, Ashfur, you've got an appointment with Berrynose in an hour."

"Thanks, Hollyleaf." Ashfur purred. Hollyleaf just nodded, because she was on the phone again.

"Oh, hi, Ivypool..."

Ashfur smiled and laughed. He looked to the ceiling. There was the newly installed TinyCam built into one of the tiles, small enough so no one would know they were going to be on TV. He walked out to the front doors. There was another TinyCam on the wall I front of the door, giving the viewing audience a full view of whoever walked in. Ashfur checked every other camera in the office, burning up his whole hour to get ready. The doorbell rang, and the cameras turned on. Firestar's Fix It Fast! company had hot wired the cameras to turn on when the doorbell sounded, and turn off when someone walks out the front door. Ashfur opened the door.

" _Hello!"_ Berrynose said, staring in a hand mirror.

"Hi, Berrynose!" Ashfur exclaimed. Berrynose looked over at Ashfur.

"I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to me!" he said, pointing at his reflection in the mirror.

"Well. Come in, follow me to my office." Ashfur led Berrynose down the hallway to the therapy room. He knocked once on the door, and entered.

"Hello Lionblaze..." Hollyleaf panted into the phone. She put her paw over the speaker. "Caller. Number. Thirty. Three!" she growled. She then removed her paw and said, "The soonest I could get you in is two weeks from now..."

Ashfur chuckled." You're on break after that caller." Hollyleaf gave him a grateful look.

"Okay, Berrynose, have a seat at my desk."Ashfur said.

"Mm." Berrynose mumbled and sat in the black rolling chair.

"So, Berrynose, what's your problem?" Ashfur asked.

"Okay, my problem is that I don't know why Poppyfrost sent me here." he replied, still looking at himself in the mirror.

"And how does that make you feel?" Ashfur questioned.

"Hot. Hot cats don't have problems. So I feel hot."

"Mmmmmhmmmm..." Ashfur said and scribbled a question mark on his paper.

"I'm taking a break now, Ashfur!" Hollyleaf announced. Ashfur padded over to Hollyleaf's desk and dialed Poppyfrost.

"Yes, hi, Poppyfrost, this is Ashfur. Berrynose is at the appointment right now, and he says he doesn't know why you sent him here."

"He is obsessed with himself!" Poppyfrost sighed at the other end of the line.

"And how does that make you feel?" Ashfur asked, trying not to laugh.

" Like garbage! When one of our kits asked 'What are we having for dinner, Daddy?' Berrynose answered with 'Mmm'. He's too busy looking at himself to even acknowledge me or our kits!"

"And how does that make you feel?" Ashfur asked again, laughing a bit at the end.

"I just told you how it makes me feel!" Poppyfrost said sounding dangerous.

"How would it make you feel if I said 'And how does that make you feel?' again?" Ashfur laughed.

"Like I'd want to punch you in the FACE!" Poppyfrost screamed. Ashfur gulped.

"On second thought, I can totally see what you mean about Berrynose being obsessed with himself. Have a nice day!" Ashfur quickly said and hung up. He turned back to Berrynose, who was kissing his reflection in the mirror now.

"I still don't see it," Ashfur confessed aloud.

"Okay, Berrynose, I've got a task for you!" Ashfur exclaimed, and sat back down at his desk.

"Yeah, whatever," Berrynose said gazing at the mirror.

"I need you to beautify our city!" Ashfur purred.

"Sure thing! I can go walk on the streets for a while." Berrynose agreed. Ashfur spun his chair around and puffed out his cheeks, trying to hold back a fit of laughter. He turned back around

"Great! I'm going to need you to leave your stuff here, okay." Berrynose nodded and started to walk away.

"And, Berrynose, take the back door please." Ashfur purred sweetly. Berrynose nodded and left. Ashfur walked over to Hollyleaf's desk and called Poppyfrost again.

"What the hell do you want?!" Poppyfrost screamed.

"I need you to take down every mirror in the house. And also, get rid of all of Berrynose's hairbrushes and stuff like that."

"Okay, I hope this works!" Poppyfrost said and hung up. Ashfur went over to Berrynose's backpack and unzipped it. Inside were seven different hairbrushes, nine hand mirrors (including a compact mirror), and a bottle of hand lotion. Ashfur, being the great person he is, threw it all in the trash. He zipped the backpack up again, and sat back down in his chair just in time for Berrynose to come back into the office.

"The streets were beautiful for fifteen minutes. I had to leave. Everyone told me to stop being a poser." Berrynose said and sat in the rolling chair.

"Okay, Berrynose, for beautifying our city, I'm going to give you some flowers and a card. You're going to give them to Poppyfrost, okay? But don't say I have them to you. Good? You got it?" Ashfur asked.

"Yep. And hey, where's my mirror?" Berrynose said, looking around the room for the first time.

"In your backpack." Ashfur lied. "Bye, Berrynose."

Berrynose waved goodbye and walked away, smelling the pink and red carnations Ashfur gave him. Once Berrynose had left and the door was shut, the cameras turned off. Ashfur pushed the red button on his desk.

"Hollyleaf, to my office, please." Ashfur said and slumped on the cream colored sofa facing the window.

"Yes, Ashfur?" Hollyleaf asked. Ashfur motioned for Hollyleaf to join him on the couch. He immediately started laughing.

"Berrynose actually thought 'beautify our city' meant go stand on the streets and look pretty!" Ashfur laughed. Hollyleaf started laughing, too.

"Who's tomorrow's patient?" Ashfur asked between breaths of air.

"Ivypool." Hollyleaf replied, wiping tears from her eyes.

"Tomorrow's going to be great!" Ashfur laughed, staring at their beloved city that was beautiful for fifteen minutes.

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 **Yay for first patient nailed! The pay is decided on how many reviews I get, so unless you want Ashfur to go bankrupt (which would be hard, considering he's a millionaire) R &R! Tomorrow's patient will be Ivypool! That's all for now today! (Maybe...)**

 _ **\- Rosebark**_


	4. Ivypool

**Yayyyyy It's Ivypool's turn!**

 **Claimer: I own Rosebark.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Warriors, but if I did, Cinderpelt would be alive and Leafpool would still be a medicine cat.**

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"Yes, I'd like to air the 'Berrynose' episode today. I'll email you the footage. Okay! Great! Bye Leopardstar!" Ashfur said on the phone.

"Ashfur, morning coffee, here. Don't worry! I used the vanilla creamer that you like! And also, Ivypool at ten." Hollyleaf purred, and then left as fast as she had entered. Ashfur took a sip of his coffee and made a bad face.

"Needs more vanilla..." he mumbled and left to go find the kitchen (yes, the office building has a kitchen).

He found the cooking room and poured more vanilla creamer in. On the way out, though, he ran into Hollyleaf. Literally. He spilled his coffee all over the black secretary.

"Ivypool just rescheduled! She should be here any minute now!" Hollyleaf said quickly. She got up and ran to the upstairs half of the office building. Probably to change clothes. Because, you know, there was hot coffee all over them. The doorbell rang. Ashfur poured the remains of his coffee down the sink and ran to the door. He took a deep breath, and opened it. Outside, an impatient Ivypool was waiting.

"Took you long enough..." she sighed.

"Hello to you too, Ivypool." Ashfur purred. "Right this way." They walked down the long hall.

"Is it true Rosebark hit you in the eye with one of her high heels?" Ashfur finally asked.

"No, I like to wear eyepatches for fun." Ivypool said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"You're a real pleasure to be around, aren't you?" Ashfur sighed. Ivypool glared at Ashfur. He knocked once on the therapy room door and entered.

"Come have a seat." Ashfur offered and sat at his desk. Ivypool took a seat.

"Okay, Ivypool. What's your problem?" Ashfur asked. Ivypool looked around the room.

"There aren't any tiny cameras in here are there?" she asked.

"Nooooo." Ashfur said slowly and bit his lip.

"Are you biting your lip? You must be nervous! You aren't lying to me, are you?" Ivypool asked and narrowed her eyes.

"I'm not lying, but I am nervous. Because the last patient was a tough one." Ashfur quickly lied.

"Okay... because this is something I don't want anyone to hear... besides you I guess." Ivypool said cautiously. Ashfur couldn't hold back a laugh thinking about how EVERYONE was going to hear what Ivypool's problem was.

"What's so funny?" Ivypool asked, looking around the room again.

"It's nothing. Go on, I'm listening." Ashfur said.

"I'm scared of misfortune!" Ivypool blurted out.

"Pardon?" Ashfur asked.

"You know, walking under ladders, opening umbrellas indoors, breaking a mirror, Friday the thirteenth, fortune cookies-"

"Fortune cookies?"

"Hey, those things can have nasty fortunes!"

"And how does that make you feel?"

"About the fortune cookies?"

"About everything you just listed."

"Hmmmmm, let me think... oh yeah! SCARED OUT OF MY MIND!"

"What's with all the yelling?" Hollyleaf interrupted and walked inside. Ivypool yelped and fell out of her chair.

"Ivypool! Are you okay?" Hollyleaf asked and went to help Ivypool up. The gray she-cat scurried away.

"Hollyleaf, you can take a break." Ashfur said to a very confused Hollyleaf. She nodded and walked away. Ashfur turned to Ivypool, who was on the ground shivering. He offered her his paw.

"Forgot about black cats." Ivypool sighed and sat back down. "Whenever a black cat crosses my path, I freak out!" she exclaimed.

"Isn't that racist?" Ashfur asked. Ivypool shot him a look. He coughed.

"Right, sorry. And how does that make you feel?"

"Again, scared!" Ivypool replied.

"We'll, I've got a test that will give you nightmares, then." Ashfur said with a grin. He pushed the red button on his desk. "Sorry Hollyleaf, by can you bring a ladder, an umbrella, a mirror and yourself to the break room please?" Ashfur asked. He turned to Ivypool. "Follow me." Ashfur led Ivypool to the break room, where Hollyleaf had brought everything Ashfur asked for. He quickly built a corse for Ivypool.

"Okay, Ivypool! Misfortune isn't real! And to prove it, I've set up a crash corse for you!" Ashfur purred. Ivypool gulped.

"Okay, first pick up that umbrella and smash the mirror." Ivypool smashed the mirror, shattering glass everywhere. She took a few steps forward, right into the broken glass.

"Ow!" Ivypool said, but Ashfur could tell she was holding back a scream.

"Now open that umbrella." Ashfur told her. Ivypool popped open the umbrella, hitting an expensive vase and breaking it into a million little pieces. She flinched at the sound.

"Sorry!" she mumbled.

"Now walk underneath that ladder." Ashfur said gently. Ivypool threw down the umbrella and started to walk under the ladder. Her paw got caught on the edge, pulling the ladder down on top of her.

"Ow!" Ivypool sobbed. She pushed the ladder off of herself and continued walking.

"You're almost done, Ivypool!" Ashfur cheered. Then, out if nowhere, Hollyleaf decided to walk out in front

of Ivypool. She froze.

"You can do it, Ivypool!" Hollyleaf cheered. Ivypool continued walking, but never took her eyes off off Hollyleaf. She ran into the wall and fell over. Ashfur ran to aid her.

"That was horrible!" Ivypool cried. "OW!" she screamed as Ashfur pulled the glass from her paws.

"You did it Ivypool!" Ashfur praised. "See? Misfortune isn't real!"

"But I... the ladder, the vase-"

"You're just accident prone, Ivypool!" Ashfur laughed. "You're so worried about what might happen you don't pay attention to the world around you!"

"Well, I..." Ivypool gave Ashfur a hug. "Thanks, Ashfur!" Ivypool said, and started to leave.

"Ivypool?" Ashfur called. Ivypool turned around. "You want a fortune cookie?" he offered. Ivypool grinned and took the cookie. Then she left.

"Another happy patient!" Hollyleaf said with a grin. " And, by the way, tomorrow's patient is Bramblestar."

"Bramblestar..." Ashfur said flatly. "Tomorrow will be fun!"

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 **Another happy patient! Not as good as the Berrynose chapter, though. Tomorrow's patient is Bramblestar! That can't be good at all...**

 _ **\- Rosebark**_


	5. Bramblestar

**Uh oh! It's Bramblestar's turn to be** **terrorized- Ahem-** **fixed by Ashfur! His problem might surprise you!**

 **No cats were actually killed in the making of this chapter.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Warriors, but if I did, Tigerstar wouldn't be evil and Heathertail wouldn't exist.**

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"Oh my Starclan!" Ashfur exclaimed. He pushed the red button on his desk.

"Hollyleaf, come check this out!" Within seconds, the black secretary was in his office, gawking at Ashfur's phone. Ashfur had made a Pawbook page for 'Feelings with Ashfur'.

"So. Many. Likes. And. Reviews!" Hollyleaf gasped. Ashfur scrolled up the page. More and more likes.

"This many people like the show already? Today is only going to be the second episode aired!"

"I guess so! Everyone loves us!" Hollyleaf exclaimed. "And, Ashfur, Bramblestar in ten."

Ashfur gave his phone to Hollyleaf and walked out of his office to the kitchen. He put on a pot of his favorite coffee on the coffee machine, and sat at the table.

"Hmmmm... what should I do to get back at Bramblestar for killing mine and Squirrelflight' imaginary kits..." he thought, but slapped himself. "Come on, Ashfur! You're better than this! You've got a mate who's pregnant for Starclan's sake, and you're thinking about imaginary kits?" he scolded himself. He took a deep breath and sat on the floor with his legs crossed and his paws up.

"Om... om... om..." He mumbled. "Om... om... om so going to get back at Bramblestar..." The coffee machine spluttered out the last few drops of coffee. Ashfur stopped meditating and poured it into his mug. Of course, he had to add half the bottle of vanilla creamer and took a sip.

"Mmmmmm..." he purred. He headed back to his office and set the coffee on his desk. The doorbell rang. Ashfur sighed and went to go answer. He opened the door.

"Hello, Bramblestar." Ashfur said flatly. Bramblestar just glared at Ashfur.

"Follow me." Ashfur sighed. He led Bramblestar down to the therapy room. He didn't bother knocking this time. He threw open the door and walked in.

"Hello Scoruge!" Hollyleaf chirped into the phone. She waved to Bramblestar.

"You've got my kit doing your work?" Bramblestar growled.

"Technically, she's not your kit. And she wanted to be my secretary. So ha ha ha ha!" Ashfur laughed.

"I'm going on break, Ashfur!" Hollyleaf announced, and left the room.

"Have a seat." Ashfur sat at his desk. "Okay, Bramblestar, what are you scared of? Kittens, rainbows, teddy bears-"

"Shhhhhh!" Bramblestar hissed as he sat down. "Do not say those words."

"Oh, you mean KITTENS, RAINBOWS AND TEDDY BEARS?" Ashfur taunted.

"Shut it, Assfur." Bramblestar warned.

"You must be scared of one of those! Joy!" Ashfur cheered. "Is it... kittens?" he asked.

"No..." Bramblestar said.

"Is it... rainbows?" Ashfur asked.

"No..." Bramblestar said quietly.

"Then it _must_ be teddy bears!" Ashfur said and took a sip of coffee.

"Yes... that's it.." Bramblestar said even quieter. Ashfur spit his coffee all over Bramblestar. He fell out of his chair and curled up in a ball on the ground. He laughed and laughed, banging his paws on the ground.

"You're scared of TEDDY BEARS?" he asked between laughs. Bramblestar growled a warning.

"Look at you! The great Bramblestar, leader of Thunderclan, is actually a big, fuzzy wuss!" Ashfur laughed.

"Say that again, I dare you!" Bramblestar snarled.

"ABCDEFG, Bramblestar is so wussy! He is scared, of stuffed bears, but I really do not care! Except its so damn funny, Squirrelflight will be my honey!" Ashfur sang.

"I warned you!" Bramblestar yelled and leapt onto the hysterical tom on the floor. They rolled around on the ground, turning into a massive brown, gray and red ball of fur. Ashfur kicked Bramblestar off of himself, sending him through the window. A shriek sounded from outside. Then a semi-truck horn blared, followed by the screeching of breaks, and then the sickening crunch of an eighteen-wheeler running over something in the road. Good thing clan leaders have nine lives.

"Oh my," Ashfur muttered. "Another one bites the dust!" He pushed the button on his desk.

"Hollyleaf, get all of your teddy bears here and bring them to the office please."Ashfur said. He got up and looked out the window. Bramblestar was slowly getting up.

"And how does that make you feel?" Ashfur shouted to Bramblestar. The mangled tom in the street opened his mouth, about to say something, but before he could got ran over by Lionblaze's motorcycle.

"I guess I should go help him..." Ashfur sighed. He went and got a dolly (which is a kind of luggage cart). Ashfur pushed the dolly out the back door and onto the street. He walked out into the road and held out both paws. Traffic both ways slowed and came to a stop. Ashfur strapped the broken tom onto the dolly and pushed him back inside the office. The gray tom started laughing after entering the therapy room, which was now filled with teddy bears. He pushed Bramblestar inside and left. He watched through the therapy room window as Bramblestar came to. He screamed and tried to get away, but soon realized he was strapped into a dolly. He squirmed his way out of the straps and started banging on the door. Bramblestar noticed Ashfur looking through the window and glared at him. Ashfur stuck out his tounge at the mangy tom. Bramblestar couldn't take it anymore and started shredding all the bears. He ripped the head off of a pink bear and threw it against the window.

"I'm gonna make it snow!" Bramblestar yowled and tore apart all the bears, scattering stuffing everywhere. Once every teddy bear was far from being a bear anymore, Bramblestar curled up in a fetal position. Ashfur threw open the door.

"What is your problem, dude?" Ashfur said.

"Tigerstar..." Bramblestar mumbled.

"What?" Ashfur asked.

"Tigerstar..." Bramblestar mumbled again. "Tried to smoother me with a teddy bear..."

"He did?" Ashfur asked. Bramblestar nodded. Ashfur helped Bramblestar up.

"He's gone to rehab. He won't try that again!" Ashfur assured.

"Thanks." Bramblestar mumbled.

"What?" Ashfur asked sounding shocked.

"Thanks." Bramblestar said a little louder.

"You're thanking me?"

"You're still a mouse brain, but you're still pretty helpful." Bramblestar told the gray tom. He gave Ashfur a quick scratch on the ears and ran out of the office.

"MY TEDDY BEARS!" Hollyleaf screamed as she entered the office. She looked over at Ashfur. "What happened here?" Hollyleaf growled and gave Ashfur the death glare. Ashfur's smiled and waved at Hollyleaf, then ran out of the office.

"Come back here, you little rat!" Hollyleaf yowled and dashed after Ashfur. The only thing that remained in the office were assorted teddy bear heads and stuffing, but out in the city, a black blur was chasing a gray streak, threatening to kill him again.

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 **I think a little part of me died having Bramblestar get run over by a semi-truck. It was pretty funny, though. Hollyleaf was too mad to tell Ashfur who tomorrow's patient was, but I can tell you that it's Bumblestripe. There are probably a lot of errors in this chapter, but I was rushed. So I apologize.**

 _ **\- Rosebark**_


	6. Bumblestripe

**I'm so so so so so so so so so so so so *1 HOUR LATER* so so sorry for not updating in such a LOOOOOOOOONG time! To make up for it, take my cookies! And, the fist person to review gets a super-soft, adorable, not-floppy Ashfur plushie! So review away!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Warriors, but if I did, Cinderheart wouldn't even have considered rejecting Lionblaze and Longtail wouldn't be blind.**

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Ashfur walked in through what he thought was the FWA office building. He headed down the long hallway to the therapy room. He opened the door and sat at his desk. He took a sip of his coffee, which was already ready for him, and realized there was a giant hole in the floor in front of his desk. The gray tom spat out his coffee in shock and jumped away from the desk just in time. Ashfur's desk sank through the floor.

"This isn't happening..." he stammered out loud.

" _But yes it is, Ashfur_!" a voice cried out from the ceiling. Ashfur looked up and collapsed in fright.

"H-H-Hollyleaf?" he managed to say.

" _Hello Ashfur_!" Hollyleaf said, sending chills up Ashfur's spine. " _Are you ready to die? Again?_ " she said and jumped off the ceiling. Ashfur quickly crawled backward in attempt to get away from his creepy secretary but fell down the gaping hole in the ground. Hollyleaf, sadly, followed him. Ashfur felt like he was falling forever, until finally, he landed on his rump on to something metal and shiny. Hollyleaf fell more gracelfully next to him, landing on her feet.

" _I've got you where I want you, and now I'm going to kill you!_ " Hollyleaf growled. Ashfur gulped and scrambled backwards off the metal thing. Hollyleaf took a slow step forward. A giant gray paw lifted up the metal thing with Hollyleaf in it. She screamed as she was dumped into a huge coffee mug. Then what looked like an enormous Ashfur drank up all of the coffee. And Hollyleaf. Cause, ya know, she was in his coffee mug. So yeah. The real Ashfur let out a sigh of relief too soon. The ground below him gave way and Ashfur was falling once more. He landed in a room with mirrors on every surface. The mirrors changed to pictures of Hollyleaf. Ashfur yelped in horror and tried to get away, but Hollyleaf was on every wall. And the floor. Hollyleaf stepped out of one of the walls, making Ashfur yelp again.

"I thought you died! In the coffee?" he said to the creepy black cat.

" _Ha ha! Oh, Ashfur... you crack me up..._ " Hollyleaf laughed. She leapt at the trembling tom on the floor.

Ashfur's eyes flew open. He immediately drew back in attempt to get away from Hollyleaf, but hit his head on something. He looked down to see that he was still in bed. The still shivering gray tom let out a sigh of relief. The phone rang, making Ashfur jump. He picked up the phone.

"Ashfur! Where in the world are you! It's ten in the morning! You're late! Bumblestripe's already here, waiting!" Hollyleaf's voice screamed. Ashfur shuddered and slammed the phone down. He sighed and slumped back down in bed.

"Wait a minute!" he said aloud. He looked over at his clock. In bright red glowing print, it read 10:00. Ashfur was late for work. He threw off the covers and ran down all five sets of stairs. On the way out the door, he grabbed Sillverstorm and pulled her out the door.

"You're coming to work with me today!" Ashfur explained and ran down the street.

"Well... okay then. But why?" Silverstorm asked.

"I'm really not looking forward to seeing Hollyleaf today," Ashfur panted and pushed open the front door to FWA.

"Wait! We gotta take the back!" Ashfur remembered and ran around to the back door. He threw it open and entered the therapy room. Inside, Bumblestripe was sitting at Ashfur's desk, reading a magazine. Hollyleaf turned to Ashfur and opened her mouth to say something. Ashfur ran behind her and pushed her out the door.

"Hollyleafyouhavethedayoffthanksforthecoffeetaketheback!" Ashfur said quickly and slammed the therapy room door shut.

"Well, you're definitely not feeling rushed today. Nope. Not rushed at all." Bumblestripe sighed. Ashfur shot a look at the dark gray tom and sat behind his desk.

"What do you want me to do?" Silverstorm asked.

"Uh..." Ashfur said and rolled a chair next to his. "Sit right here and help me with this overly sarcastic tom."

Silverstorm shrugged and sat behind Ashfur's desk.

"So, Bumblestripe, what's your problem?" Ashfur asked.

"You said it already, wise guy. I'm overly sarcastic." Bumblestripe sighed.

"And how does that make you feel?" Ashfur asked.

"Great. Real great." Bumblestripe answered.

"Was that sarcasm?" Silverstorm asked.

"No." Bumblestripe replied and rolled his eyes.

"Was _that_ sarcasm?" Silverstorm asked again.

"Yes." Bumblestripe said and rolled his eyes again.

"Confusing." Silverstorm said.

"No way! Really?" Bumblestripe said with sarcasm DRIPPING from his voice.

"Okay, I have the solution to your problem! Just stop talking!" Ashfur exclaimed.

"Wow, smarty! That'll help a lot! I'll just stop talking for, maybe a couple of years. This is probably the best solution you've ever thought up!" Bumblestripe said with fake-excitement.

"That was a test to see what you'd say. Your problem is you like insulting people. You need to be nice. Stop insulting. Be nice. Stop insulting." Ashfur sighed.

"OMG you totally just solved my problem! Yippe!" Bumblestripe exclaimed.

"OMG? Really?" Silverstorm asked. "Oh, wait. More sarcasm."

"WOW! You're even brighter than your boyfriend!" Bumblestripe insulted.

"See? You're insulting her!" Ashfur exclaimed.

"Really? I had no-"

"Zip it, bee face!" Silverstorm hissed. Bumblestripe flinched.

"Did you just flinch?" Ashfur asked. Bumblestripe hesitated for a moment then nodded.

"Let me try something," Silverstorm whispered to Ashfur.

"You flinched? Well, well, well! You seem like a... what is the word... oh yes! Wuss. You're a big wuss!" Silverstorm laughed. Bumblestripe flinched again.

"That's it!" Ashfur said and stood up. He paused, waiting for Bumblestripe to say some sarcastic remark. Then he shrugged and continued on. "You insult people, but you don't like being insulted! So... anytime you're about to insult someone, just imagine what they're going to say to you!"

Bumblestripe looked down at the floor. "Yeah... I'll try that!"

"Was that sarcasm?" Silverstorm asked. Bumblestripe looked Silverstorm in the eye.

"No, it wasn't." he said with a grin. Silverstorm smiled and gave Bumblestripe a hug.

"Bye Bumblestripe!" Ashfur said. Bumblestripe waved goodbye and left.

"Uh.. Ashfur," Silverstorm asked. "Why didn't you want to see Hollyleaf today?"

"It's a long story..." Ashfur sighed. Silverstorm sat on the couch.

"I'm listening."

Ashfur grinned and sat next to her.

"Okay. It was sometime this morning. I was having a very creepy and scary dream..."

* * *

 **YAY! I finally wrote the sixth episode! Okay. Here's the dealio. Since Ashfur gave Hollyleaf the day off, he doesn't know who the next patient will be! SO! YOU! Yes, you! You get to choose who the next patient will be! Please visit the poll on my profile to vote. Any votes entered through the reviews will not be counted. NOW! IT'S COOKIE TIME! You get one cookie per review!**

 **Echoed Song: (::)**

 **Pikanerd6: (::) (::) (::)**

 **Hawkflight of Stormclan: (::)**

 **the amazing CLAY: (::) (::) (::) (::) (::)**

 **Cool Gurl: (::) (::) (::) (::) (::)**

 **Feather: (::) (::) (::) (::) (::)**

 **JaywingXOXO: (::)**

 **SadieLovesBacon: (::)**

 **.Rosebark: (::)**

 **42 4ever: (::) (::) (::) (::)**

 **YAY! Hope you like cookies! Now, remember. Vote on my poll to choose who the next patient! And, the first user to write a review gets a super-soft, adorable, not-floppy Ashfur plushie! So R &R!**

 _ **-Rosebark**_


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